J…J… Jealousy¬†

Lately I have been spending time exploring the feeling of jealousy. Often times there is a belief that a spiritual person should not experience jealousy, that jealousy is a bad thing. For many years I thought that as well. I went to therapy one day and began telling my therapist I was feeling jealous and quickly inserted that I knew I should not feel that way.  
My therapist paused me there and asked what was wrong with jealousy. I stopped and wondered, what actually is wrong with jealousy? Nothing actually. Jealousy is a way to identify our desires. When we can actually notice feelings of jealousy, (before we shame the feeling of jealousy and start telling ourself that we are bad for feeling it) we are in fact receiving insight about what we want. Maybe I am jealous of someone who prioritizes traveling the world, that could inform me that I am desiring more traveling and exploration – perhaps it could point me in the direction of learning a new language or booking a trip to a place I have been wanting to go. In this way, jealousy is not bad! Jealousy can simply be a way to identify our desire. The people we are jealous of are holding up mirrors for what we may have a hard time admitting that we desire! Pay close attention to the what and who you envy – they are your mirrors and are simply trying to get you in touch with your desire.  
Today we celebrate the Spring Equinox; the official first day of Spring. We are officially in between the Winter and Summer Solstice. Many cultures celebrate a New Year celebration during this time. The spring is seen as the time of re-birth and the time of new life. Flowers are blooming, fruits are ripening, and our own desires are asking to come to the surface to give birth to. Spring is a beautiful time to re-birth your desires; to make room and space for that which you truly yearn for – even if you have no idea how it will come to blossom. You can start by just acknowledging that you have a desire for it.
Dare to plant the seed today and watch that seed grow. Nurture it, love it and encourage it. Many Blessings for this spring season. May you be able to face your desires with courage! In fact sometimes facing our desires is more challenging to facing our fears.
With gratitude, and realization 
-A

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My Soapbox about Milk

Stop feeding your kids milk from a cow.  It has all type of mucus, blood, pus, and animal hormones in it! 

If your child has a nut allergy, hemp or rice milk.

I don’t even recommend soy milk.  

Why else do you think your kid can’t focus?

ūüė≥ūüôĄ

and…

What attracted me to J was his poise, attractiveness, polish, confidence, and effectiveness in shaping his life in ways that satisfied him…

I realized that there was very little if any reality behind the fa√ßade. As poised as he could be, his preoccupation with image often led him to do stupid things, and his “graceful recovery” was just a failure to properly handle the bad feelings that occurred in the wake of his errors. His “confidence” oscillated between arrogance and self-loathing with nothing healthy in between. And in the end, for all his influence and persuasion techniques, he had no more power to force the world into shapes that gratified him than I did with my more conventional efforts, because it’s just not possible to have that much control over the world. If anything, he was more unhappy because of this as he tended to feel very angry and cheated by every little discomfort, which his belief system told him he should be able to arrange to avoid having to tolerate.

Another thing I noticed was that he seemed to be very proud of me, but over time it unfolded that he saw her as a commodity and devalued me and eventually became physically violent  when I was not as successful or glamorous as he would have liked. He clearly had been counting on me to provide him with a particular lifestyle which he felt cheated out of when faced with the reality of my daily grind. He also seemed to be very reliant on women to provide him with an intellectual and emotional life since his own mentality was quite impoverished. As soon as a quantifiably more successful, popular, and glamorous woman hove into view he started imitating her and grooming her to be his bit on the side while relying on the first girlfriend to support him in the material style (house, car) to which he was accustomed.

As you can imagine, it was hard for me to have any respect, let alone attraction, for him once all this became apparent. Not only that, but seeing him obviously aping the interests and mannerisms of his latest targets, and seeing him change completely to put on a show for them, was quite an eye-opener for me. It showed me that not only did he lack the qualities I’d admired in him in the first place, but that he appeared to have these qualities because he was imitating me. It was literally the case that the thing I hoped to find outside myself had been within myself all along and he had been the one who was looking to me to provide him with those things. It’s a good thing I did get  involved with him because he was an insatiable vortex of need, really very debased underneath his respectable exterior, and I now know what to avoid.

As to finding those qualities in another relationship (other than with myself as described above), give it time. I highly doubt that I’m the most fabulously poised person on the planet, and if I am, that’s quite frightening‚Ķ If the qualities I sought exist in me, logically they must exist in another person too.

We all crave, and we’re all lonely. There is satisfaction for that craving. I recommended How To Break Your Addiction To A Person and I’ll recommend it again. This is where one will get the most out of their experience with a mad person.

 

With Hindsight 20/20

 

-A

Other people’s success makes me so happy I could cry 
No jealousy over here. 
I’m sharing in your joy.  

With gratitude and a heart so full. 

-A

On gossip 

“Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.” ~ Henry Thomas Buckle “Isn’t it kind of silly to think that tearing someone else down builds you up?” ~ Sean Covey
Most often those you gossip with gossip about you as well. Also we get much closer, more intimately connected to one another by revealing ourselves to each other not the secrets of others…#SpendYourTimeBetter

Stay on track 

Last 10 years have been MONUMENTAL learning lessons of letting energy vampires, materialism and ego driven decisions take control. Never, ever will I relinquish my power to anything or anyone again. My negative Karma has done a number on me and I now truly understand the essence of cause and effect. Stay on track always. Dear universe I learned my lesson… Can I please go outside and play now?

With love, grace and resilience 
Aaisha