Flashlight…Gaslight…

As I muddle through the dramatic encounter I had with the “sociopath”, I am reminded of a few things. It had me thinking of of not only familial and romantic relationships; but even more so, race relations and how we in today’s society the victim is made to believe that he/she of such said event is “crazy” themselves and it’s absurd to even implicate the offender with any sort or role in an egregious act. But I’ll touch on race at a different time…

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that can be described in different variations of three words: “That didn’t happen,” “You imagined it,” and “Are you crazy?” Gaslighting is perhaps one of the most insidious manipulative tactics out there because it works to distort and erode your sense of reality; it eats away at your ability to trust yourself and inevitably disables you from feeling justified in calling out abuse and mistreatment.

When a narcissist, sociopath or psychopath gaslights you, you may be prone to gaslighting yourself as a way to reconcile the cognitive dissonance that might arise. Two conflicting beliefs battle it out: is this person right or can I trust what I experienced? A manipulative person will convince you that the former is an inevitable truth while the latter is a sign of dysfunction on your end.

In order to resist gaslighting, it’s important to ground yourself in your own reality – sometimes writing things down as they happened, telling a friend or reiterating your experience to a support network can help to counteract the gaslighting effect. The power of having a validating community is that it can redirect you from the distorted reality of a malignant person and back to your own inner guidance.

So as I move happily, yet cautiously through my life I take heed to this and remember my footing on this topic.

With love, honesty and a thankfully quiet existence.

– A

That sigh of relief when….

My friends have been afraid of coming to me in the thick of my immense grief over the loss of my mother. 

It’s almost as if  I had to feel better for them in order for their own comfort. 

This saddens me. 

People baffle me. 

But luckily I’m not concerned about that nonsense. 

You can co-exist with people you do not vibe with…

Recently viewed a video from my favorite YouTube channel and it focused on resonance and connections.

Boy did I learn a lot.

Letting go of people (including family) that I don’t connect with.

Searching for the natural flow of life.

We have been indoctrinated to make things work, when simply the shit doesn’t work.

::SIGH::

Stop the madness! I’m getting tired of being sick and tired.  I don’t want to be a loner but I refuse to associate with individuals if the resonance isn’t there.

With love, peace and good vibes ❤

-A

Law of Attraction

I don’t buy into it anymore.

Not everything in my opinion was “meant” to happen or be. There isn’t always some esoteric deep meaning behind why things do and do not happen.

Not everything can be fixed.

I have come to this realization recently and I feel freed by this very limited belief system.

I’ll elaborate on another post as time permits.

With gratitude.

-A

On Karma and Mom

We pick our parents. Yes, we really do. And by now you may be thinking: “Surely I will choose better next time.” Or you may be thinking, “I chose well.” We choose our parents based on our karmic paths, lessons to be learned, and resonance. Oftentimes we reincarnate within the same family group and but play different roles in each lifetime. However, at the center of it all is “mom”. Literally, without mom, none of us would have been born.

What do moms offer us? They offer us a myriad of learning opportunities. And it starts before we are even born. Moms offer us a lot of karmic opportunities. In another post I’ll go into  the karmic implications of “Please” and “Thank you”. These three little words carry a lot of karmic weight- if you use them or not! In most cases, it is the mom who teaches us these basic manners, social graces. If mom does not teach us these things, we are then offered a set of different lessons. It is not good or bad, it simply is. It is simply an opportunity for us on our karmic paths.

Karma wants to know if we have learned the lesson. Karma will also test us when we least expect it to see if we really, truly have learned the lesson. A good example of this is the classic bully situation. Many times, a bully can be a family member. If a family member is bullying another person, the mom has an opportunity to stand up and say no. This will change her karmic path and the path of those around her. If she does not stand up, then an opportunity arises for another person to do so. Either way, karma is offers us learning opportunities.

With Learning and Lots of Love.

-A

As my birthday draws closer and I reflect often on the absence of my mother’s physical presence on this plane, I am immensely grateful daily; for getting older is a blessing and an opportunity to live the rest of your life being open to all possibilities.
With gratitude 🌟

On Martyrdom…

There is something about being a martyr; deeply engrained in our psyche. 

Deeply engrained in our history. 

The ache that desires others to be happy, even at the expense of ourselves. 

The guilt that accompanies “putting yourself first”, an all too familiar feeling paling in comparison to the foreign acts deemed selfish. 

I exist for the communal WE, instead of the enterprising I. 

Am I able to rewrite my spiritual narrative? Incarnating as a leader, showing others the way to an internal land of happiness that I am unable to fulfill in myself. 

Everyday a wondering and a wanting to break the chains of a path that was chosen for me, but wouldn’t that make me self-serving? 

Is it possible to give and not be bled dry in the process? 

There is a scripture about a man that was made to be a disappointment in the eyes of god because he retained a portion of his money and gave SOME to the apostles. 

I never understood why he could not keep some for himself, why did this god require all? 

Is it even natural? 

The social constructs that keep us bound an enslaved to one another and still falling short of being whole. 

You could sacrifice your material possessions, time and sanity for human beings and it would still not be enough. 

Who decides what and when it has been enough? 

Through loving myself I am better able to give and receive love, but those that have not loved themselves will never be able to feel it. 

If the well runs dry, should I be grateful that people were able to drink? 

However, they will still thirst. 

I cannot be the well.

With love, respite, discernment and peace. 

-A

No matter what you do 

There are some people that will never be happy for you…
Never appreciate the seeds you’ve planted…

But there are others that will continuously water your flowers along the way… 

However,

You tend to your garden for yourself 

Not for your neighbors 💜