Word of the day…

Word of the day: PRECEDENT 
The precedent is set that a black person has no rights that need to be respected by a white cop. Or any cop for that matter. A cop killing an unarmed black person in cold blood and escaping even a wrist slap is akin to being the proverbial immovable object. The immovable object is now about to meet the unstoppable force in the form of abject racism, xenophobia and of course a large dose of white supremacy.  
Which pillar of white supremacy will give way? Will it be the precedent that cops can kill at will and get away with it? If that precedent is to stand than that means a black Muslim from Somalia gets to get away with killing a blonde haired blue eyed white woman and that’s an anathema to everything white supremacy is supposed to be about. 
In a strange sort of perverse way the unfortunate killing of that innocent unarmed White woman by the cowardly Muslim black man might be just what the Black Lives Matter movement needs to break the monotony.

With a heavy exasperated sigh…

-A

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Martyrdom part 2

There is something about being a martyr.Deeply engrained in our psyche.

Deeply engrained in our history.

The ache that desires others to be happy, even at the expense of ourselves.

The guilt that accompanies “putting yourself first”, an all too familiar feeling paling in comparison to the foreign acts deemed selfish.

I exist for the communal WE, instead of the enterprising I.

Am I able to rewrite my spiritual narrative? Incarnating as a leader, showing others the way to an internal land of happiness that I am unable to fulfill in myself.

Everyday a wondering and a wanting to break the chains of a path that was chosen for me, but wouldn’t that make me self-serving?

Is it possible to give and not be bled dry in the process?

There is a scripture about a man that was made to be a disappointment in the eyes of god because he retained a portion of his money and gave SOME to the apostles.

I never understood why he could not keep some for himself, why did this god require all?

Is it even natural?

The social constructs that keep us bound an enslaved to one another and still falling short of being whole.

You could sacrifice your material possessions, time and sanity for human beings and it would still not be enough.

Who decides what and when it has been enough?

Through loving myself I am better able to give and receive love, but those that have not loved themselves will never be able to feel it.

If the well runs dry, should I be grateful that people were able to drink?

However, they will still thirst.

I cannot be the well.
With reflection and gratitude

-A

Man listen…

I’m so tired of the peaks and valleys, the mood fluctuations, walking on eggshells, the okie-doke. I’m so tired, so tired…
Not every time someone shares their experiences with you are they trying to “get through to you”. 
Not every time are they trying to make you “understand”.
Not every time are they looking for a response. 
Sometimes…
People just need to verbalize their pain. 
Sometimes
People just want you to hear their anger, their frustration, their fear. 
No explanations.

No intellectualizing.
Just pure emotions.
And those moments are necessary. 

Let it humble you.

If the only time you hear someone speak is when they’re yelling…
If the only time you pay attention to someone is when they “act out”…
You are the source of their pain.

Let that sink in.