1984 :sigh:

I will preface this post with it being my longest post to date I believe. Its literally taken me  weeks to write this post; editing, trashing it all together, etc.

I try to stay away from politics on this blog but with all this nonsense going on, I had to chime in. Only those very close to me know my passion for history and politics.


Enjoy and please chime in with your thoughts.

With doublethink, discernment, and of course love.


In this world where cognitive dissonance seems to reign supreme, if there is one term that I wish more people could grow to overstand and subsequently incorporate into their ethos and daily dialogue, particularly regarding matters germane to the forward progress of this nation and by extension the world, it would be the term DOUBLETHINK.

Doublethink is a term coined by George Orwell from his book 1984 (which seems to finally be coming to fruition in 2017).

Doublethink is the opposite of cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is defined as a psychological conflict resulting from incongruent beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously. In short it’s an inability to accept reality because it makes one feel uncomfortable or goes against the grain of ones ego that’s tethered to and built upon a fallacies.

Doublethink is defined as the acceptance and mental capacity to accept contrary facts and opinions simultaneously. In other words it’s the ability to accept as fact certain phenomena while at the same time knowing when and where to deviate from said truth. Like holding the belief that you should follow your own dreams and entrepreneurial pursuits while still knowing that you need that job in order to pay rent until those dreams of being your own boss can be actualized.

A contemporaneous example of cognitive dissonance would be the moralizing Donald Trump supporters, many of which hail from the religious right. To a person and in the abstract all of the abhorrent behaviors displayed by their president if displayed by a Democrat or even their own children would be met with scorn and rebuke. But because his politics and racially charged rhetoric stimulates their id all of his moral failings are glossed over, ignored and even defended by these self proclaimed pillars of morality.
The right wing however does not have a monopoly on cognitive dissonance because such heedless thinking exists among many liberals , self professed progressives and black activists alike.

Using Barack Obama as an example there are many progressives particularly in the African-American community that ignored, accepted and even championed some of his worst moves as president just because it was him doing it. Viewing the Obama years through the prism of doublethink two things are true. He’s both the best president in many of our lifetimes as well as one of the greatest pacifiers of the anti-war movement in our lifetime. Most of black America that were opposed to the wars started by George Bush begin to accept Obama’s expansion of them as necessary to their safety and security as opposed to seeing it as evidence to the fact that the military industrial complex and the war profiteering corporations controlled both the democratic and republican parties. For many black activists that’s all they saw in the 44th president ignoring the fact that as the elected leader of an empire his very job was to continue the imperialistic endeavors started by his predecessors. Moreover many of them propagated the mythical half truth that he did more for gays and immigrants than he did for blacks. Through the lens of doublethink first and foremost you’re not going to compare the 400 year oppressive relationship between the United States and Black people with the much more simplistic and targeted discrimination of gays and immigrants which for the most part were remedied by a few executive branch pen strokes. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and the

Defense of Marriage Act and the enactment of DACA were all laws that represented low hanging fruit. They were simple measures to mitigate the needless suffering of targeted groups. The black activists that make the binary and dichotomous argument of what he did for those disaffected groups versus what he could not and did not do to relieve black people from the long standing issue of white supremacy oppressing black America is another bemusing case of cognitive dissonance. At worst Barack Obama was not unapologetically black as many of the great black leaders of our storied past were and who often times he was unfairly (to them and him) compared to.  Even worse was the cognitive dissonance among mainstream Democratic black voters. It was so thick in 2016 that many of the same black people who saw the evident racism and incompetence in his 2007 primary opponent (Hillary Clinton) not even ten years later were parroting the mantra that she was the most qualified person to ever run for president despite all of the evidence to the contrary and despite having the option of a more progressive, honest and humane option in Bernie Sanders.

Doublethink allows for nuance and holistic thinking. Nuanced holistic thinking is the only tool to successfully navigate the steady waves of fake and misleading news that are constantly bombarding our television screens and social media timelines. Even before Vladimir Putin got hip to how easily the American ethos could be swayed and influenced fake news was a norm in America. Fox News was created in 1996 and from 1996 up until today they have been infecting the airwaves with steady false narratives. The only way to abate the powers of false information is to train the hearts and minds of America to be more analytical. Doublethink is the only way to achieve that goal. Do yourself and your fellow citizens of this trying to be great nation a favor and get more familiar with the term and put it to daily practice.



You can’t pour from an empty cup.

If someone gave you 10lbs, 20lbs, 50lbs, of baggage to carry around what would you do? Probably throw that shit out. Am I right?
At some point you get tired of the load you carry and that;s what I am learning to do.

I am learning to let my crap go. I am learning to not let my past hurts define and shape my adulthood. I implore you to do the same.

With love…


I have had some horrible people enter into my life. Even family members. Some disguised as friends. But I still have really great people who love and support me….and I’m grateful. I always talk about gratitude and how important it is to me. But sometimes it’s hard to remember what you have when you lose so much. Having awesome friends gives me the strength to focus on what I have. It’s been very difficult redirecting my thoughts lately, but it becomes easier the stronger my ability to let go of toxic relationships. Let them go. Doesn’t matter who they are. Dead their ass mentally. Forgive em….but they are fired. With no severance. You owe people who hurt you nothing. 
With that being said, my days, once again, will start with some kind of positive affirmation. 

“I give myself permission to heal, I forgive those who have hurt me in the past, and move forward with a positive attitude.”
With gratitude 



Can’t show me love publicly
Because of how you speak about me privately

Can’t openly support me

Because someone in your crew or you is filled with fear and envy

Just remember when I make it, don’t be salty

Because, I make sure everyone I care for eats

And the one the one you sidestep me for Couldn’t give a damn if you’re hungry.



Word of the day…

Word of the day: PRECEDENT 
The precedent is set that a black person has no rights that need to be respected by a white cop. Or any cop for that matter. A cop killing an unarmed black person in cold blood and escaping even a wrist slap is akin to being the proverbial immovable object. The immovable object is now about to meet the unstoppable force in the form of abject racism, xenophobia and of course a large dose of white supremacy.  
Which pillar of white supremacy will give way? Will it be the precedent that cops can kill at will and get away with it? If that precedent is to stand than that means a black Muslim from Somalia gets to get away with killing a blonde haired blue eyed white woman and that’s an anathema to everything white supremacy is supposed to be about. 
In a strange sort of perverse way the unfortunate killing of that innocent unarmed White woman by the cowardly Muslim black man might be just what the Black Lives Matter movement needs to break the monotony.

With a heavy exasperated sigh…


Martyrdom part 2

There is something about being a martyr.Deeply engrained in our psyche.

Deeply engrained in our history.

The ache that desires others to be happy, even at the expense of ourselves.

The guilt that accompanies “putting yourself first”, an all too familiar feeling paling in comparison to the foreign acts deemed selfish.

I exist for the communal WE, instead of the enterprising I.

Am I able to rewrite my spiritual narrative? Incarnating as a leader, showing others the way to an internal land of happiness that I am unable to fulfill in myself.

Everyday a wondering and a wanting to break the chains of a path that was chosen for me, but wouldn’t that make me self-serving?

Is it possible to give and not be bled dry in the process?

There is a scripture about a man that was made to be a disappointment in the eyes of god because he retained a portion of his money and gave SOME to the apostles.

I never understood why he could not keep some for himself, why did this god require all?

Is it even natural?

The social constructs that keep us bound an enslaved to one another and still falling short of being whole.

You could sacrifice your material possessions, time and sanity for human beings and it would still not be enough.

Who decides what and when it has been enough?

Through loving myself I am better able to give and receive love, but those that have not loved themselves will never be able to feel it.

If the well runs dry, should I be grateful that people were able to drink?

However, they will still thirst.

I cannot be the well.
With reflection and gratitude


Man listen…

I’m so tired of the peaks and valleys, the mood fluctuations, walking on eggshells, the okie-doke. I’m so tired, so tired…
Not every time someone shares their experiences with you are they trying to “get through to you”. 
Not every time are they trying to make you “understand”.
Not every time are they looking for a response. 
People just need to verbalize their pain. 
People just want you to hear their anger, their frustration, their fear. 
No explanations.

No intellectualizing.
Just pure emotions.
And those moments are necessary. 

Let it humble you.

If the only time you hear someone speak is when they’re yelling…
If the only time you pay attention to someone is when they “act out”…
You are the source of their pain.

Let that sink in. 

Happiness is NOT a warm gun…

Happiness is a warm gun is one of the few Beatles tunes I can tolerate and I often sang it with the slight twinge of curiosity of what that would be like ( just saying…) 

Excuse my overuse of elipisis by the way. 😂

Happiness is an inside job… seriously…I’ve gone through some traumatic things in my life and it took me a long time to realize… no one has the key to your happiness Honestly… I wouldn’t change those things… they’ve made me stronger… clearer… more in tune with my intuition… I’m thankful for all the growth I’ve experienced… it took me a long time to realize … I’m whole within myself… the past few years have been widely expansive when it comes down to learning myself… as a human in this dimension… Thank you for riding with me… 😘 
With gratitude and growth.