Be careful…

Not to project and perpetuate the same cycles and behaviors that you have a problem with. 
Be gentle with yourself. 

With gratitude. 

-A

P.S this is my 200th post!! Whoo Hoo 😉

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On dad’s day…

Do people post mother’s day greetings with qualifying statements? Don’t get me wrong – if you are very close to me, you know the delicate and adversarial relationship I have with my own dad; I’m all about celebrating the act of motherhood and I’m very clear that moms put in a lot of work in gestation that fathers cannot imagine let alone do. But I’m seeing quite a bit of “to those men who hold it down” or “to the real dad’s out there” and I’m trying to think back to a month ago if people openly put stipulations on celebrating mommas or thanked only the ones who didn’t do ignant shit to their kids. Now that I think about it, the gates be open to “every woman is a mother” even if they have not biologically carried a child while biological fathers are getting invalidated (and women getting saluted as the momma and the daddy on fathers day bit that’s a whole nother issue).

Rant 

VIBRATE HIGHER!
Sticks and Stones may break your bones

But 

Words can actually kill people 
What may be just a joke or laughing matter to you 
Could be the final straw that literally pushes someone over the edge 
You don’t know what people are experiencing 
BE GENTLE BE KIND ALWAYS 
There is enough wrong with the world already

Do we really need to gossip about one another

Must we make fun of what someone is wearing 
WHAT IF THAT’S ALL THEY HAVE TO WEAR?! 
PEOPLE ARE HURTING AND STRUGGLING EVERYDAY 

NO ONE deserves to be picked on or bullied 
One word could take someone from depression to suicidal 
Is your ignorance worth another person’s life?!
Keep that in mind the next time you find yourself “just joking” abouts someone’s situation, someone’s appearance, someone’s finances. 
It could very well be you

So Sunday was my 34th birthday and it made me think of a few things because sometimes I have all of nothing thinking, which can be extremely problematic. 

I’m in California for vacation. Thought I’d share this pic too. With gratitude.

-A

Note To Self: 
1. Remember all those times you thought you wouldn’t be okay, but you ended up being just fine….
2. The only person you have to prove anything to…. is YOU 
3. Nothing in life is permanent, so the “not so nice things” really are just TEMPORARY 
4. Sometimes the “not so nice things” are blessings in disguise. Bringing you closer to where you need to be or further from where you don’t….
5. Resisting neccesary changes only tends to make situations more difficult. Just remember #1👆

Off the cuff 

Death. The end of life. The one other thing we all have in common.

Everyone will die.

But how you view your death is what I want to talk about.

Death is feared, and the fear of death is the fear they use against us. We fear a terrorist bombing us, or some enemy beheading us. Or some nuke going off. Maybe its a fear of being murdered by a cop as we see on TV. In fact it could be any form of death we fear because we are generally taught to fear death. Moms will unwittingly instill fear into a child by telling scary stories about the woods, or strangers, or cars hitting them. Wives tales have been used for centuries to keep younger kids at home and from wandering off.

But we grow up. Realize there is no boogyman. Learn the streets and people so we are safer. But still, we were taught fear. We now have “adult” boogyman stories.

But think about this. If you just lived every moment of your life living, would death matter? Knowing you’re going to die anyway and being real about it gives you the upper hand over death. Death is death and we cant stop it, but fear is ANTI LIFE, and steals your living time. Because one fearful thought that causes you to stay at home, or not enjoy life, has in fact stolen your life. Like if you think a snake will kill you then you will always be looking for the snake and not the beauty the snake lives in. If you fear a bomb will go off in public and kill you then you will never go out and be dead spiritually in your own home.

Get it now?

Fear is a disease and living is the cure. Just live every second as if its your last and when death does come you can laugh in its face and dance into the afterlife.

This time we have on earth is very short. We can be killed or murdered at any time. And instead of fearing this we should be using this truth to LIVE MORE FULLER LIVES. Instead of sitting in a corner fearing death we should be living.

Fear is anti life. Know this truth and you will taste life again as you did before you were taught you would die. Live like a child…..yes.

Try it.

Because life is so short that even one second not enjoying it is to much to give up.

LIVE FREE…DIE LIVING

DONT LIVE IN FEAR

THINK

With fearlessness 

-A

Flashlight…Gaslight…

As I muddle through the dramatic encounter I had with the “sociopath”, I am reminded of a few things. It had me thinking of of not only familial and romantic relationships; but even more so, race relations and how we in today’s society the victim is made to believe that he/she of such said event is “crazy” themselves and it’s absurd to even implicate the offender with any sort or role in an egregious act. But I’ll touch on race at a different time…

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that can be described in different variations of three words: “That didn’t happen,” “You imagined it,” and “Are you crazy?” Gaslighting is perhaps one of the most insidious manipulative tactics out there because it works to distort and erode your sense of reality; it eats away at your ability to trust yourself and inevitably disables you from feeling justified in calling out abuse and mistreatment.

When a narcissist, sociopath or psychopath gaslights you, you may be prone to gaslighting yourself as a way to reconcile the cognitive dissonance that might arise. Two conflicting beliefs battle it out: is this person right or can I trust what I experienced? A manipulative person will convince you that the former is an inevitable truth while the latter is a sign of dysfunction on your end.

In order to resist gaslighting, it’s important to ground yourself in your own reality – sometimes writing things down as they happened, telling a friend or reiterating your experience to a support network can help to counteract the gaslighting effect. The power of having a validating community is that it can redirect you from the distorted reality of a malignant person and back to your own inner guidance.

So as I move happily, yet cautiously through my life I take heed to this and remember my footing on this topic.

With love, honesty and a thankfully quiet existence.

– A

That sigh of relief when….

My friends have been afraid of coming to me in the thick of my immense grief over the loss of my mother. 

It’s almost as if  I had to feel better for them in order for their own comfort. 

This saddens me. 

People baffle me. 

But luckily I’m not concerned about that nonsense. 

You can co-exist with people you do not vibe with…

Recently viewed a video from my favorite YouTube channel and it focused on resonance and connections.

Boy did I learn a lot.

Letting go of people (including family) that I don’t connect with.

Searching for the natural flow of life.

We have been indoctrinated to make things work, when simply the shit doesn’t work.

::SIGH::

Stop the madness! I’m getting tired of being sick and tired.  I don’t want to be a loner but I refuse to associate with individuals if the resonance isn’t there.

With love, peace and good vibes ❤

-A

Law of Attraction

I don’t buy into it anymore.

Not everything in my opinion was “meant” to happen or be. There isn’t always some esoteric deep meaning behind why things do and do not happen.

Not everything can be fixed.

I have come to this realization recently and I feel freed by this very limited belief system.

I’ll elaborate on another post as time permits.

With gratitude.

-A